Chapter 2: There She Goes...

She sauntered into the kitchen and yanked the cupboard open which gave a loud moan.

Tequila? Vodka? Ah both- Perfect.


Making her way back to her room, she reached her hands out, letting her fingertips trace along the grit on the unpainted wall as she walked. Her mind wandered- if her memories would remain intact, what's the afterlife like anyway? Heaven or hell or will her soul linger? Will she see Nana?

Stop thinking. It is time.

Her room door clicks closed softly behind her. Should she lock it? Perhaps- she turns the key, no- she unlocks it. They will have to break the door down. Just lock it- It makes the plan fail proof if someone shows up earlier than expected.

The multiple bottles and boxes of pills took her months to acquire, the extensive knowledge was found within the deepest depths of the web- look hard enough and you shall find. Her arms engulfed the stash in her cupboard and then let it slowly slide through onto the floor as she settled down against the wall opposite her bed. She had already counted them- 263 in total- she popped a few here and there when she couldn't sleep.

From all that she had read, mixing a cocktail of drugs is almost always unsuccessful as the body senses and rejects anything that resembles poison- alcohol for example- and then you would just regurgitate everything. This was the trickiest of methods with the highest failure rate. Her decision was to keep to two types- Barbiturates and the lithium salts that were prescribed to her but she had stopped taking long before.

She took a deep breath...

Inhale...
Exhale...
Inhale...
Exhale...

She collected four capsules in her hand and stared at them.

"Colourful like candy, potent like poison. Half yellow and half blue, these tablets are meant to help people but today they're going to kill you...."

She placed them on her tongue, took a large swig of tequila and tipped her head back.
She felt the searing burn of the tequila first in her throat and then in her chest. She gasped. It was so much stronger than she had anticipated, yet so satisfying.

There's no going back.

She deposited more pills into her mouth, each fixing themselves on the dry surface of her tongue. Another gulp- gone.

Her thoughts were racing. The tears were flowing. The regrets were replaying.

More... Faster... She felt herself going into a frenzy.

Don't. Stop. Now.

The pills had started to take effect. Her head felt heavy, her body felt loose.
Hand to mouth. More.
More.
Her vision blurred drastically, her heart raced and her mind whirled, her heavy head had begun to loll from side to side.

She reached beside her for more... Nothing.
Her fingers crept left, right, around her, under her legs ever so slowly, she had downed it all.


Had she just ingested 264 pills? Holy shit.

She collapsed to her side, her body limp and her mind dazed.
Peace... She thought.

No.

She could feel the nausea coming on, the feeling was making a mad dash all over her body. She was going to throw up any second.

It's happening, I took too mu-

And then... Nothingness.